Listening to the TED talk “12 things l learned from life and writing” by Anne Lamott has always been a great experience. Whenever I listen to it, it gives me a chance to giggle and also ponder. The entire 15 mins talk touches many aspects of life and offers you the checklist to look around. One point that deeply stuck with me when I first listened to it and keeps flashing back is where she mentions
“Try not to compare your inside with someone else’s outside”.
We all consciously or unconsciously live this point. We are always calculating on how and what we lag in comparison to the world around us. Our construed vision always magnifies our problems and someone else’s joy. We always feel the need to be blessed just like someone around us. This behavior keeps us sulking and always in search of something elusive. This applies to all of us universally; may be a degree less or more. In those times of comparative analysis, when our mind shows a very rosy picture in neighbor’s courtyard and our heart aches for our problems, let us turn inwards; remember the following next time
- The universal truth of life is that all have their share of joys and worries. The reactions vary from one to other and hence the perception about the person also. It is what is on display that we look at and decide for the complete scenario. However everyone has their own limit to display their problems.
- It is just that we look outward only when our inside is in grief. Hence our vision is never open to notice other’s issues. Just being more open with our outlook in our good times; can help us to see through the fact that not everyone is in same mood of life always.
- Each one has the frustrating moments, messy issues to solve and behavioral villains to deal with. We are not the sole victims and hence should stop playing that card once for all.
- If someone around us is joyous and happy, feel relaxed that positive energy is around us and it will turn towards us soon.
- Believe in the fact that “This too shall pass”; this applies equally to good times and bad times. In good times allow it to keep you grounded and humble, in tough times let it give us the hope and motivation.
- Looking inside for analysis of our problems will help us solve them. The solution to our problems can never be found in the comfort of somebody else’s lives.
The pot of happiness in the world is not a limited source to share. Each one can claim their own share without worrying about what someone else got. We only have full version of our story and not anyone else’s side; so let us avoid to judge and define the ease of their lives. As read somewhere
“The tip of the neighbor’s iceberg often looks very nice.”
As the hidden capacity of the iceberg has the capability to overturn a big vessel, same way this delusion about someone else’s blessings or comfort can hamper the peace of our hearts.
References : TED talk link
Anne Lamott: 12 truths I learned from life and writing