Limiting the help

Our basic instinct as a mentor, parent, guide, or friend is to help the other person. However, there is a downside to this otherwise positive attitude. During my farewell from earlier team, one of the brightest team member I had; remarked in her farewell note that while she was thankful for my helping nature she would advise me to allow the team more independence and opportunity to struggle for solutions. I have always known that in my impatience I usually feed too much so that things get done faster but on that day I realized that this is having major loss for the team members as I am snatching them the opportunity to learn.
So as a mentor in form of a team lead, parent, or friend we need to be more cautious to keep our help within limits to allow the other person to explore and evolve beyond his comfort limits. This can be at times painful as a parent to see your child struggle, frustrating to see your team losing on time to find ways and irritating to see a friend feel dejection of failure. However, these are opportunities for the person to evolve and grow.
At times the urge to help become an extension of our egoist self. To give ourselves the badge of a great helper let us not handicap the other person.


Learner for life, from life

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