If you are someone like me who struggles with keeping her emotional reactions in balance, you surely have a tough nut to crack. I don’t believe in the feelings as negative and positive. What matters more is keeping the feelings in balance. When we are in zone of adrenaline rush, we tend to be extreme in our acts. This rashness in act can cause the situation to turn negative.
Everyone is born with specific design, and it is not easy to ignore the in-built features. However, we can choose to change it for the better. I have struggled with issues of anger management for a long time. One thing I can say with confidence is, no one can solve this struggle for you.
You have to choose your own way out. Creating my own cope up strategies have helped me to handle the situations in better ways. Some of the steps that help me are as below:
Being mindful:
The starting point of any change is to understand the current situation. To make any change in our feeling, we first need to be aware of our current feeling. Earlier, thinking about observing the mood change, sounded absurd. I felt, how could that be, it just happens.
But, no; it is doable. And it just does not happen, you can literally see it arising. I started by taking small pauses and checking back the state of mind at that moment. Just like, stop doing everything and feel your mood. All good? Great, continue the work. Something amiss? Try to see what it is. Where is it coming from?
Do this naturally, normally as part of routine. This creates a habit that can notice the rise of that extreme reaction. You become alert and your attention starts reading the change in mood. Once I am aware, I can choose the reaction rather than just see it spill.
Distancing from the situation:
When I feel that the situation is getting out of control and I am ready to burst, I just move away. Move away from the person or situation physically. If not possible to move away physically, I just shut my senses, like not listening and paying attention. Closing the eyes.
This allows the heart to stop racing, prevents the mind from creating the story. Once I am calmer, I revisit the situation. This helps to decide on a better option than the immediate outburst.
Writing Journal:
At times when feelings are not that loud, but something is sad inside, I choose the option of pen and paper. Writing down all that is coming in my mind and heart, lightens me. It is like shifting the burden of my head on the paper. Writing allows to think better and see more options than the usual ones.
Talking to someone:
Pouring the heart out to someone trustworthy is a therapy. It helps to keep us humble in our rise and strong in our fall. We should always invest well in the people around us. The people in our life are our true assets. Narrating my side of story to the close person helps me to speak out my first-hand feelings. Getting their patient hearing is enough at times to sort out the things.
At time when we speak, it is like thinking out loud. Hearing the situation in our own words, helps us to revisit the situation. Through this process itself, we gain lot more about the situation and see many aspects which we skip otherwise.
Emotions are part of life, in-fact they are color and flavor of life. By being more connected with self, we can keep them in balance that is healthier.
