A good book can be a guide, mentor and friend to you. You can refer to it in times of confusion. You can reach out to it to learn something new. It will never fail you.
I recently completed reading the book, “A man called Ove” by Fredrik Backman.
The book is an overall delight to read, but there are some lines that stood out for me.
“Men are what they are because of what they do. Not what they say,” said Ove.
Another way to say, “actions speak louder than words.” If we want to understand the true nature of a person, we observe his ways. The way we carry ourselves, truly depict our core self. When it comes to speaking, we usually refine the words to look appropriate. We can hide the true feelings while speaking. But our body language, our choices in action actually tell what we are.
A job well done is a reward in its own right.
May be bit philosophical, and we may argue that in practical world; everyone deserves a reward for job done. However, this thought can serve as an idea to encourage for sincerity towards our efforts. When we only work sincerely, to get reward; we may fallout if we are not noticed and appreciated. If sincere efforts are part of our behavior, it becomes permanent.
And if you don’t know the story you don’t know the men.
Indeed, without the knowledge of a rationale, ever human can be seen as a machine doing some random actions. The thoughts, ideas and analysis put to use for this choice of action makes the complete picture. It puts the humanness in the action. No one does anything just like that. There is always a decision loop going inside our brains. Without understanding this loop, we can never claim to know someone fully. So, it is advised to judge people just by sight. We can judge the one action of the person but not the whole person from that one action.
As if they were kicking a memory back and forth, a memory of a woman who insisted on seeing more potential in certain men than they saw in themselves.
This line refers to Sonja as the woman. The way she saw goodness in Ove (her husband) and Andrian (her student) beyond their own imagination made great impact in their lives. When someone puts a belief in our goodness, it motivates us. The person’s trust in our abilities, goodness becomes guiding lamppost. We feel the duty to upkeep the person’ trust in us. The world’s judgement can dishearten us. At such time when someone sees us beyond the obvious, it helps us to keep moving. Family, friends, teachers; we can find such a person in any role. Having someone to believe in you is a real bliss.
But sorrow is unreliable in that way. When people don’t share it there’s a good chance that it will drive them apart instead.
Sorrow hidden in heart drifts a person away from the life around. He feels like no one is living the pain in his heart and hence feels disconnected. The thought that our pain is personal and we have to keep it to ourselves comes for various reasons. We do not want to burden others around us. When we choose to share the sorrow, we may not get solution for it, but we feel seen and heard. It lifts the burden of hiding the pain of sorrow. We can express the pain to the world around us.
Death is a strange thing. People live their whole lives as if it does not exist, and yet it’s often one of the great motivations for living. Some of us, in time, become so conscious of it that we live harder, more obstinately, with more fury. Some need its constant presence to even be aware of its antithesis. Others become so preoccupied with it that they go into the waiting room long before it has announced its arrival. We fear it, yet most of us fear more than anything that it may take someone other than ourselves. For the greatest fear of death is always that it will pass us by. And leave us there alone.
Some want to live few more days, and some want to die sooner. The truth is but that no one can choose it. Death is real as much as life is. But when which one will happen, no one can predict.
** The bold/Italic lines are directly from book
