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Dialog

Living through our differences

The gentlemen in the picture have always been role models to many across the globe but this picture made them grab more attention and the reason for same is that they looked calm and serene in the moment when their respective teams were competing inside the same ground where they are sharing a candid moment of communion. Eyebrows were raised and people were surprised as how two competitors be comfortable enough to see each other eye to eye with mutual respect in the look and equanimity on face. It was a sight of wonder for the world that is so engrossed in marking a difference of opinion to a person and using same to hate and corner the person in their lives.
Where Kane and Virat in their own way proved why cricket is a gentlemen’s game; in-fact any sport without the spirit is not fulfilling. This same spirit should be taken in the field of life also. The world has always been divided on differences. Systems have used the differences in our attributes to categorize us and use our divisions for vested benefits. Our differences are always marketed and pointed; expectation set with these pronouncements is that we get divided and start marginalizing each other.
The reason why we end up falling prey to this game set by political,religious or business outfits is our basic view towards difference of opinion or difference in attributes. We always look around for confirmation to our opinions and any deviation from same irks us. As a society we are losing on the appetite to see the different approaches to same matter. Our deep belief in the truth and superiority on our understanding of matter blinds us from giving a impartial and open attention to some other thoughts around same.
There is no unique and perfect way to see something or do something. The saying of “a glass half full or half empty” is known to us all. The different versions of perception are all matter of individual perspectives. The person seeing half glass full may be termed as someone more optimistic that the other one; but no one can claim that other one was wrong. Where one opinion may have some advantage to another but it does not make the other one incorrect and hence both stand the right to be stated and heard.
The scenario where only a monologue is delivered and the mindsets are stuck in a single track of thought process, there can never be robust and holistic solutions created. Just think how boring life will be if we have everyone around us crafted in same mould. Healthy discussions should always be allowed in all scenarios. We may still not agree and one of the ways is chosen based on the analysis; however the process would enrich us about a lot. Usually the difference is not as huge as seen by our egoistic approach towards it. At times we treat our opinion on something as a beloved property and stoop to upholding same at any cost.
Following points can help us to check if we are actually holding a opinion or becoming a egoistic lawyer in a discussion.
• Discussion between two people should allow each one time to speak. See that you are listening as much as speaking; age of the participant here should not be used as a reason to change the rule. Even if discussion is between parent and child; make it equal time to each participants opinion.
• The opinion you are holding is not universal truth like “Sun rises in East”; it is also derived from many assumptions and may have been result of many assumptions that can change any time.
• Is the discussion for learning or some decision? If not, and it is to give yourself the scholar degree in your head, please stop at that moment.
• Every one has something unique to teach and every one has always a lot left to learn; be open to learn and confident enough to state as you see things.

Above all, every discussion should be ended with open heart and warmth rather than feeling of victory or hatred.
Opening up to different opinions help us to learn a lot. Agreeing to disagree can save a lot of relations in our lives. When we agree that we are differentiating on some point, it is not about who is right or wrong. The relations we have with people around us are not created by our opinions but or feelings and hence same should be run also by feelings. Below quote by Anthony Bourdain sums the same for us
I don’t have to agree with you to like you or respect you”.
May we all have more open hearts and minds to see, analyze and evolve together. And I am sure Kane will rule my favorite sports person list for longer time owing to this picture.

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