To say it or not …..

“I should not have said that”
“But that would have been unfair on my part”
The above statements are illustration of a very common dilemma we all go through in our personal, professional communications. There are those moments when we feel north and end up saying south or not saying anything at all.
What stopped us here is the fear loop going inside our brain. Does we end up offending anyone? Would it sound too harsh? Will it affect my image? …. and what not. Most of the things we say and do are not pure application of our IQ/EQ on the situation but conditioned around the judgment it will derive us from the people around us. When our opinion ought to base on what we think, we usually end up saying what others would like to hear.
We end up with more inside us than what comes out of us. We may seem serene on the outside but there is a huge tornado building up inside. We are whirled in thinking something, faking anything else and this create much negative inside us in our pursuit of being good. In our pursuit to be good (which no one can define actually), we end up faking to be good.
There is other side of story too. There are many of us, who are straightforward enough to spill the beans as they are. We say it as it is in our head, not giving much importance to what others feel about it. Here we may be able to clear our stand but the message is not always very clear and positive. In being true, we mostly end up being rude and the communication gets murkier.
However, there is no third way, you either say it or not say it. What else is there to have the task done?
The matter of fact here is that we focus much on what is to be said, but forget on the how and when parameters.
We should say what we feel and have to offer on a particular situation, but we must choose our words carefully and the tone even more cautiously. Same words can convey different impressions, depending on how we say them. We have to be sure to have one to one clear channel of communication when we are saying a sensitive thing. This prevents things from being muddled up.
Every situation has many dimensions and each one of us comprehend it in our own way. There is no absolute truth and correct way. Each one of us live with our own versions of truth and righteousness. We can never please all with what we offer. In such a case rather than fitting in a frame, we can be true to ourselves.
World will anyways be always confusing and rough but we can aim to be in peace with ourselves by saying what we think, but with clarity and calm and with fair scope for others to take it as they want.